Usually when I hear someone talk about 'acceptance,' I think it means to just deal with whatever bad event is occurring in my life...and furthermore, deal with it in a way that doesn't impact those around me. Actually, however, that's not entirely accurate.

Acceptance of "now" simply means to notice, acknowledge, feel whatever is presenting itself in the moment. Yesterday, Inauguration day, if you switched on your television you saw many people across the country were feeling hopeful, happy, peaceful, and/or exhilarated about the future. Acceptance of that "now" means to truly feel those positive feelings...really acknowledge them and give them your awareness. To accept: "I'm really at peace right now. I feel truly hopeful about the future." There is healing in that acceptance. Neural-pathways of positive thoughts are being created in your neural-net when you think like that.

Of course, there are those moments (and days) when negative events are occurring and acceptance truly means feeling the pain associated with the event at hand. We know that railing against what is happening doesn't make it stop. In fact, it can extend the life or energy of the event. So, to simply feel the sadness, for example, and acknowledge: "I'm so sad and feeling really low right now," can be healing in and of itself. When we simply acknowledge and feel the pain, we allow it to move through us in its own course of time. When its done, its done. If we hang on to it by fighting it and being mad or indignant that we have to experience this discomfort, we might actually lengthen it. And, after all...it is human nature that pain and pleasure continuously move in and out of our lives.

So next time you notice that you're experiencing some strong feelings of any type, take a few moments to sit with those feelings. Acknowledge what they are. Feel them. Breathe deeply and relax, and notice how your body feels. And reassure yourself...good or bad, wanted or resented, these feelings are moving through you right now, and eventually they will be gone...no matter whether you fight them or hang on to them or simply observe them and watch them pass. Ask yourself: How do I wish to handle these feeling? How do I wish to feel after these feelings are gone? And, what do I wish to get out of this life's experience?

Peace. That's such a basic word and everyone knows what it means. But if you ask 10 people what peace looks or feels like, they will all give you a different answer. For example, I believe if I am at peace with someone I am harmonious with them. We don't argue or fight and we get along great. But what about feeling peaceful? Isn't that like being harmonious with yourself?

We experience a lack of peace most often when what we think we want is opposed to our values or beliefs. So...I believe I should go to work every day and earn a living, but I don't like my job so I don't want to go (just an example for purpose of illustration). When we are peaceful, we feel connected to our values and beliefs, and therefore, are in accord with ourselves. That feeling of all is right with the world.

But that isn't really very realistic, is it? So how do we feel peaceful in such a crazy world? I know many people turn to spirituality or religion. But aside from that...  I mean, we have to go to work. We can either learn to think differently about our job, or we can change our job.

When I'm smart or wise enough to become aware that I need to be more peaceful, there are many tools I use to increase my peace. I like to get into comfortable clothes and sit in one of my favorite places (can be at home, the woods, the river, the yard...) and I just breathe. At first a few really deep, cleansing breaths, and then relaxing into normal breathing. Then I name what I'm not peaceful about, as I breathe out, and I name what makes me peaceful as I breathe in.

So it looks/sounds like this:  breathe in peace, breathe out anxiety; breathe in safety, breathe out fear; breathe in pride...comfort...wellness... etc.

And another great peace increaser, for me, is to create. I can create clean by cleaning my home. I create art by drawing or painting. I create awareness by journaling... the list is endless.

And finally, it helps me occasionally, to imagine what I look and feel like when I am peaceful...and to just sit and see that version of myself for a few minutes, using as many senses as I can conjure, and know this is really me.

Ideally, when doing one or more of these activities (or inactivities) I can more closely align my desires with my values.

Remember that show from the late '90's, "Ally McBeal?"  She was an unconventional, rather confused Boston attorney who periodically sought the advice of a therapist (one of Tracy Ullman's quirky characters). Anyway, the therapist told Ally that she needed to discover and sing "her song." I recall at the time, I knew instantly that my song was "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper. And while I tend to forget about my song over time, occasionally when I'm a bit down, that tune will creep into my mind, and I'll start singing it in my head. That almost always lifts my mood.

What's most important about having and singing your song is that it serves as a little window into who you are. And by that I mean the authentic you. That version of you who is real... vulnerable...uncensored. Because, when we're vulnerable and uncensored we are the most accessible version of our selves. This is also the best place from which to grow and achieve our personal goals. 

So maybe you can think about which song you might claim as your's. And own it. Sing it proudly and notice how it gives you energy, and hopefully serves as your own private cheering section! 

Welcome to my first blog posting. I've been "overhauling" my practice in small ways, behind the scenes, lately. Nothing has changed (nor will it) in the way I provide services to any of my clients. What has changed is my practice name, in the distant past, my location...I've recently changed my logo and business cards, and now I'm working on a new website. 

Let me just say that change is not always easy for me. I usually resist it for as long as I can, and then I jump headlong into it. The headlong jump is where I am right now with this site. 

How do you react to change? You might take a few moments to reflect on that. Ask yourself whether change is a problem for you, or whether you welcome it like a new season. Whatever your relationship to change, its most important that you recognize it and know yourself. That makes your process of change much easier.

I'll try to talk more about change as I progress through this process...but then again, I might procrastinate some more instead. Stay tuned.

--Margie